Totally Unreasonable
by x-HotMess
Summary: Even the most unique people sometimes pretend that they're something they're not. Based on a true story. Lilly/Oliver
1. Who Am I?

_Well, usually I'm more into reading than actually writing, but that's mainly because I've never actually tried writing fanfics before. Anyhoo, one of my good friends is going through a bit of a situation with her best friend, and it totally gave me the loliver heeby jeebies, so this is based on what she is actually going through right now, but is also a tasty morsel of what my life is like. Hope you enjoy._

Have you ever felt like you are just doomed to wander the earth alone forever? Honestly asked yourself the question over and over, "What is so wrong with me?"

I know I have.

I mean, it's not like I'm butt ugly. It's not like I have a personality defect. I'm a little quirky in my own way, but that doesn't mean that I'm utterly repulsive. Someone, somewhere, must have an attraction to girls who like skateboarding and indie rock music and contact lenses.

And no matter how many times that your best friend, in my case, Miley, assures you that you are perfectly fine, that you are so unique that it will take someone just as unique to have your heart, you can't help but feel a little lonely. You just want to feel loved.

And what would Miley know, anyway? The one guy she truly fell for, the egomaniacal Jake Ryan, well what do you know, he turned out to love her back. And we all know what a success story that turned out to be. But at least she got the guy. Perfect teen movie cliché. It makes me want to vomit.

My other best friend, Oliver, hasn't really had much success with the opposite sex either. I mean, he went on a few dates with Becca Weller, but that just fizzled out. Same thing happened with Sarah. I think he's a lot like me. You think you really like someone, but then you start to date them and you realise that you have very little in common and they actually bore you to death. Then you spend the next two weeks trying to figure out how to dump them, but before you get to that point, they bring up the fact of how distant you've been and how they don't think it's working out. So there you are again.

Stuck.

Unloved.

Alone.

Screw being unique. I don't think I'm really all that special. I mean, I have mediocre grades, I'm somewhat talented at sports, a bit more so in skateboarding. I am really close to the friends I do have, but put me in a room with people who I know will judge me on the spot, and I turn into a big, fake, smiling mess. Who am I kidding, trying to act all mature to impress these people? All I really want to do is giggle and poke out my tongue and joke around like I do with Miley and Oliver.

But I won't.

Because then they'll know.

That I'm the opposite of who they think I am.

That I am Lilly.

_P.S. NEED MOAR LOLIVER. Where has it gone? Everything nowadays is LOE this and NILEY that, I mean, WTF?? The Jobros aren't even characters on Hannah Montana! They did ten minutes where they played THEMSELVES. GAAAH!_


	2. Bad Asses Unite

"Lilly!" My name echoes around the locker hall on Friday afternoon.

"Hey, Oliver, What's crackalackin'?" I grinned as Oliver bounded towards me, excitement clear on his sweaty face.

"Guess what??"

"OH EM GEE WHAT? PLEASE, DO TELL! THE TENSION IS KILLING ME!"

"Your sarcasm is hardly becoming, Miss Truscott. But I shall tell you my excellent news despite that. I pretty much have the whole house to myself tonight, so I'm having some peeps over for drinks and movies. Miley and some of the guys are coming, it should be cool."

"Geez, Oliver, how did you convince your mom you could be trusted home alone? Didn't she hear about what happened at Corey Delaney's last month?" I smirked.

"For your information, my mother and father believe that I am a responsible young adult on the brink of manhood, and that I should be able to handle a night by myself with no problems." Then he frowned, the kind of frown that crinkled up his whole face. "Besides, Corey is a douchebag. It's not like it's 500 people, just a few of the guys, you and Miley."

"Well then, I guess I could make an appearance," I grinned.

"WHOO HOO! See you at my place at around seven then?" He asked me with raised eyebrows.

"Alrighty then!" I looked at my watch. "Crap! I'm late for English!" And with that, I slammed my locker shut and barrelled down the hall as I threw a hasty goodbye over my shoulder at Oliver.

* * *

I hate it when teachers use your full name. It's like you're a bad puppy who's left a nasty surprise on the expensive carpet. And I especially hate it when whiny, old, decrepit English teachers use it. And I knew it was going to happen before I even stepped into the room. I swear sometimes I'm psychic.

"Lillian Truscott! I trust you have a good reason for being late for my class?" Ms. Doherty screeched.

I sighed. "Sorry, I was held up at my locker"

"Well then, perhaps I might spare you a detention if you can prove to me if you've done your homework! So, Lillian, can you elaborate on Truman Capote's manipulation of words in his novel to make us feel sympathetic towards Perry Smith, the cold-blooded murderer?"

I was tempted to refuse. To flat out tell her that no, I hadn't done the stupid homework she had set. I didn't read the creepy book. And I couldn't for the life of me recall a single thing that we had talked about in class for the past two weeks. But I decided that I wasn't going to give her that satisfaction, and I could bullshit my way through this answer, easy peasy. Thank the sweet lord of procrastination for Wikipedia.

"Well, by using words with positive connotations when referring to Perry, and describing in detail what a pitiful life he had lead beforehand, Capote was able to humanise what most people would see as a monster, and that's one of the main reasons why his book was so controversial." I said with a satisfied smirk.

"I…Uh…Well…Thank you Lillian, you make take a seat" Ms. Doherty stuttered.

With my smirk still plastered firmly on my face, I plonked down next to my friend Todd, who immediately gave me his trademark high five.

"Way to shut down the old dodo, Lillster!" he chuckled. "Hey, I wanted to ask you, you going to Oken's tonight?"

"Fo shizzle, I'll be at the hizzle, hope it won't drizzle!" I rapped.

I was met by a blank stare. I obviously don't have a future in hip hop music.

"Sweet, are you right for drinks? I'm bringing a few keggers, but I know most girls are into that sugary coloured vodka crap."

I rolled my eyes, "No, Toddy, I'm sure I can hold my beer with the best of the boys."

"Whatever you say, Lil. But my offer is still open if you change your mind."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I think I'll be the deso anyway."

The truth is, I'm not much of a drinker. A total lightweight. I remember junior prom I nearly passed out from just three beers. Oliver was vomiting in the toilet next to me after his fourth. Oh yeah, we're total badasses. But I don't need alcohol to have a good time. Though it certainly helps. Plus it's funny when you see people you don't talk to on a regular basis come up and act like you're their best friend. Like you actually mean something to them, and they're going to remember you when they wake up with their good old friend Mr. Hangover.

Those people aren't real. And soberly, they wouldn't acknowledge you if their life depended on it.


	3. Pleasantly Tipsy

I straightened my denim skirt before I knocked on the door to Oliver's. I could already hear Arctic Monkeys pumping from inside, along with some disoriented cheering. Surely they haven't brought out the beer bong yet? But the door swung open and there stood a very cheerful looking Miley.

"Oh Lilly, you're late! Todd started complaining about the kegs getting warm, so we kind of… started." She chewed nervously on the inside of her cheek.

"Hey, chillax! If I wanted in on some of the action I should have been here earlier, right?" I smiled at her. "Besides, I'm driver tonight, so no grog for me."

"Don't worry about it, Jackson said he was picking me up, I'm sure he could drop you home. Come oooonn, Lilly!" she whinged.

"Oh, okay. Looks like I've got some catching up to do!"

Catching up indeed. Two rum and cokes and a beer later I was giggling face down on the couch. I felt the area near the top of my head sink, and I looked up to se who it was. Oliver, looked very dejected.

"Aw, Ollie Wollie, watsa matta you? Why you look so sad?" I slurred.

One word. "Miley." I frowned. What was wrong with Miley?

He went on. "I asked her out just then, but she just laughed and went back to canoodiling with Dex."

I nearly choked on the cushion. Why on earth would he want to ask Miley out? I asked him that exact question.

He shrugged. "I dunno. She's real perty. And she's my friend. I didn't expect her to laugh in my face then stick her tongue down another guy's throat while I stood there watching. What kind of a friend does that? AARGH!" He suddenly cried out. "WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO PATHETIC?"

"Oh, Oliver, you're not pathetic. Just…kinda desperate. Ever notice how Miley is always the one off, as you say, 'canoodiling', while we're stuck keeping and eye on her and wondering why it doesn't come so easy to us? I mean, even now, she's making out with a hottie while I'm here comforting my dork of a best mate."

"Thanks for the self esteem boost, Lil, I really needed that."

"Hey, you know it's the truth. We are the dorks. The one's that watch spectacular things happen to everyone else and just hope that one day it'll happen to us." I choked out.

Oliver awkwardly patted the top of my head "You know you're really deep when you're drunk, right?" he asked me.

"I'm not drunk, I am pleasantly tipsy!" I argued

He just laughed and got up to leave, but I grabbed his arm. "Hey Oliver? I whispered "You're right. A friend doesn't laugh at you. If you asked me out, I definitely wouldn't do that." I then paused and thought about the complete awkwardness that just came out of my mouth. "Not that I want you to ask me out! I'm just saying, as a friend, that I would not do something so cold and heartless as to crush your spirit and make sure you never love again!" I blurted out.

He laughed again and kissed my hand on his arm. "I know, Lilly."

And they way he looked at me after that brief, adorably awkward moment, even though I was 'pleasantly tipsy', I noticed a change. And I just couldn't place my finger on it. And then I realised, it was his eyes. He had never looked at me with that particular expression on his face before. I didn't know whether it was good or bad, and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not.

* * *

Three hours later and the party was winding down. Unfortunately, I was without a ride home, as I had gotten angry at Miley for hurting Oliver and told her exactly where to go. So I gratefully accepted Oliver's offer to stay the night, as I couldn't face the shame of having to phone my parents to ask them to come and pick up their inebriated daughter from her best friend's house. Todd was staying too, and he was worse off than Oliver and I combined. So we got out a whole bunch of blankets and set them up in the living room, just like in the good old days when I used to have sleepovers with Miley and Oliver. Except now in the place of sweet, innocent, fresh faced Miley was a drunk, unconscious and snoring Todd.

"Do you want marshmallows?" Oliver asked out of the blue.

"Um, what?" I muttered quietly. I was starting to feel really drowsy, and Oliver's random question made me think, which made my head hurt.

"I was just thinking, you know, how this reminds me of our old sleepovers. Except now we have Todd instead of Miley, which isn't really an improvement."

I giggled. "Sure, why not?"

As Oliver went into the kitchen, Todd let out a great snort and sat bolt upright.

"Whaa? Whusgoinown?" he drunkenly mumbled.

"Well well, if it isn't Sleeping Beauty? Did you have a nice sleep, Toddy?" I giggled again. I couldn't seem to stop giggling tonight. Stupid alcohol.

"What are you talking about Lils? You're the beauty around here" he slurred. Did he really just say that? "I mean, look at you. You're funny and original, and I have always wondered why it has taken anyone so long to figure out that you are really something. I mean in English sometimes, when Dodo is talking about similes, I try to think of really cool similes to go with you. Like, Lilly is as awesome as a mega hotdog with extra cheese and chilli sauce with a large chocolate milkshake on the side."

"Uh, Todd…" I was speechless. Did Todd really think that about me? ME?

"Shh." He clumsily pressed his finger against my lips so they smushed up against my face. "Don't interrupt. What I'm trying to say is, I would really, really like to make out with you." And with that he grabbed my face and pushed my mouth against his.

And they say romance is dead.

The weird thing is, I found myself kissing back.


	4. Please Don't Be Mad

My head was spinning. I didn't even like Todd. Not in a romantic sense anyway. But here I was, letting him squish our mouths together, push his tongue against mine, and put his hands up my shirt. What was I doing? I certainly wasn't enjoying it. But in the back of my mind, I was kind of enjoying the feeling of someone thinking that I was as great as Todd thought I was. But I also wondered, did he really think that? Or was this just drunken blabber so he could get some? I tried to ignore the unpleasant bubbly feeling in the pit of my stomach as Todd murmured some more endearing comments against my lips. My crazy thoughts were doing back flips.

_He really likes you. Nuh uh, he's just using you. But then aren't you just using him? No, he's the one who wanted to kiss you! But you didn't want to kiss him, so why did you? You don't know? Was it because you're lonely? Because you're hacked off at Miley? Because you just like feeling desirable, for once in your life?_

And then it hit me.

Literally.

_**Piff.**_ A marshmallow bounced off the top of my head.

I broke away from Todd, hastily pushing his hands away from my stomach, and looked up to find an irate Oliver glaring at us, holding a bag of open marshmallows.

"If you two don't mind, I'd rather not have you sucking face in my living room" He said with icy eyes. Not the same eyes with which he had looked at me before.

"Oliver, I…don't… I didn't… sorry." I stuttered, staring at the floor and wishing it would swallow me whole. Why did I even agree to stay the night here?

"Oken, what's your problem? Lilly's way hot! You just jealous coz you didn't get any from her tonight?" Oh God, Todd, shut up! You're only making it worse!

Oliver's eyes hardened as Todd slung his arm around my shoulders and I didn't push him away. I expected him to send us to opposite ends of the room like naughty kindergarteners. But he didn't. He just picked up a blanket off the floor, slumped on the couch and pulled it over his body. "Try not to make too much noise," He muttered over his shoulder, and with that he rolled over and faced the other way.

I stared guiltily at his back. Oliver had been so nice to let me stay, and how was I repaying him? By hooking up with my English buddy on his living room floor once everyone had gone. Oliver didn't need to see that! But as I turned back around to face Todd, a whole different rush of emotions absorbed me. He thought I was 'way hot'. He wasn't a fake. He knew exactly who I was and liked me for it. And that made me feel so good that I didn't object when Todd once again pulled me closer and crushed our mouths together.

* * *

The next morning I woke to the sun shining in my eyes, and once the disoriented shock of waking up in an unfamiliar place with a hand on my boob wore off, I managed to sit up. Christ, I had a blinder of a headache. I managed to stumble to my feet, step over the once again snoring Todd, and make my way into the kitchen.

"Have a good sleep?" I hear an angry voice growl behind me.

I spun round to come face to face with a very cranky Oliver Oken sitting on the countertop.

"Yeah, fine thanks" I said breezily. Please don't be mad at me, please don't be mad at me.

"So did the Todd get lucky last night or what?" He snarled.

My mouth dropped open. He had better not have just insinuated what I thought he did.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I don't know why I hooked up with Todd, I was pretty drunk…" He cut me off.

"Oh, don't give me that crap, Lilly! You knew exactly what you were doing! Don't you think you could have been a bit more considerate of other people around you?"

"You're right, Oliver, I'm a selfish skank. I already said I was sorry, I don't know what else you want from me!"

"What I want from you is a best friend who isn't so easy!"

Excuse me? What was he getting at?

"You even said it yourself last night that Miley was the one that got all the guys! You are just so desperate to be loved like her that you'd just let any guys get in your pants! Grow up, Lilly, and get some self esteem! You're better than this!" He stopped, panting.

I can't believe he just said that. He really wanted to get that off his chest. So that was what he really thought of me? It was so different to what I thought he thought of me. I could feel my eyes brimming with tears. I was an idiot. For thinking Todd liked me. For thinking Oliver would just blow this off as no big deal. For thinking that I could ever find someone in the world who truly understands me. And there was just one sentence that kept swirling around my head.

"What," I whimpered "is so wrong with wanting to be loved?"

With that, I spun on my heel and flew out the front door, not even bothering to close it behind me.


	5. Concussion

_**Ring Ring**_

Pick up the goddamn phone.

_**Ring Ring**_

Come on, come on, come on.

_**Ring**_ "Hello, Miley's phone."

"Miley! Oh my gosh, I made a huge mistake and now Oliver's mad at me and I know you're mad at me too but I really need to talk to you so…" I spurted out in one breath.

"Lilly? Lilly, it's Jackson. Miley's in the shower right now. Do you want me to get her to call you back?" He said in a confused voice.

I sighed. "Yeah. Tell her it's really urgent."

"Uh, okay then. Bye Lilly. Look, whatever mistake you made, I'm sure Oliver will get over it. He's softer than a doughnut left out in the sun." And with that, he hung up.

I snapped my phone shut and threw it across the room with a frustrated shriek. Why was I beating myself up over this? It's not as if I had done anything wrong! Well, I had acted really selfishly at Oliver's. I had kept going with Todd even though Oliver had asked me to stop, and why? Because I managed to fool myself into thinking that Todd actually liked me, and I felt crap enough about him using me already. But then Oliver had to go and say all those horrible things to me! And the worst part was, I could actually see where he was coming from, and I kind of agreed with him, which just made me feel even shittier.

But I needed to talk to SOMEONE, because I am really not the type to keep my thoughts to myself, my feelings bottled up inside of me. I tried doing that once, when I was about 10 years old, and my bitch of an auntie came to stay with my family. Let's just say her favourite dress didn't look so good with coleslaw all over it.

Anyway, I might have been pissed off at Miley, and she probably wasn't too happy with me, but she was my best friend and confidant, and I needed to tell her. She would know what to do. She always did.

* * *

Sick of moping around my house waiting for Miley to call, I threw on my sneakers, grabbed my skateboard, and set off for the beach. I love the beach. It's so peaceful. Sometimes. When there aren't kids screaming or dogs barking or Rico laughing maniacally. But it is a completely serene place where I just sit and calmly sort out my thoughts, which is what I really needed to do right now. But just as I rounded the final corner…

_**WHAM.**_

Someone on a bike crashed straight into me. I tumbled off my board and the back of my head hit the ground so hard I saw stars and tears sprung into my eyes.

"Holy Shit, Lilly! I'm so sorry! Are you alright?" cried the tear-blurred vision of the boy who had knocked me off my board.

"Do I look all fucking right!?" I yelled, which made my head throb even more. This day just kept deteriorating. What had I done to deserve this? Oh, right. I wiped my eyes to see this stupid guy who had hit me.

Oh Crap.

Crappity shit bloody frigging hell.

"I'm really sorry! I didn't see you!" Todd exclaimed, looking horrified. He was the last person in the world I wanted to see.

"Why don't you watch where the fuck you're going next time?" I yelled again, staggering to my feet. Todd tried to help me, but I pushed away his extended arm.

"I think you've done enough!" I told him harshly.

Hurt and surprise filled his eyes. "Listen, Lilly, about last night…" He started.

"Look, Todd, I don't want to hear it, okay? I know you're not interested me whatsoever, and using me like that was just inexcusable. So if you don't mind, because I certainly do, I think you'd better find yourself another English partner!"

I stormed past him roughly, but he grabbed my arm and spun me round to face him once again. "Lilly, you don't understand!" He tried once more.

"Oh, I understand plenty! You want another round, huh? Think you might be able to get to third base this time? Get in line, Todd, apparently I'm the easiest whore in the entire school, so if you want a repeat, you're going to have to wait!" I screamed, getting a lot of uneasy glances from other beach goers.

I could feel the wind cooling the hot tears leaking from under my eyelids, and I most definitely did not want Todd to see me crying. Sniffling, I wiped the back of my hand over my cheeks before picking up my skateboard and flouncing off up the boardwalk. To make matters worse, my head was throbbing, and by the time I made it down to the sand, I felt like I was going to pass out. I dropped my board and woozily sunk to the ground. Could this day possibly get any worse? As soon as that thought entered my mind, a clap of thunder sounded overhead. Stupid irony. I probably should get off the beach before it starts to rain. But surprisingly, I curled up into the foetal position and shut my eyes. I just wanted to fall asleep on the soft sand, and maybe when I woke up, it would turn out that this entire disaster was just a bad dream.

"Lilly! No! Wake up!" called a voice. My eyes snapped open and I sat bolt upright, which sent my head spinning. I dizzily looked around to see Todd sprinting down the beach towards me. Oh no, not again. What did he want now?

"Lilly, you probably have a concussion, you can't fall asleep!' Todd told me, skidding to a stop in front of me and dropping to his knees.

"Why do you care?" I muttered. I wasn't about to take orders from anyone, especially not him.

"Lil, what you think about me not liking you, that's not true!" He insisted. I raised my eyebrows sceptically. "Um, well, kinda not true." He continued "I mean, I'm not really into you now, but I did have a major crush on you a little while ago."

"And what, now you've had me, you realised you don't want me?" I scoffed.

"No! Would you stop being so goddamn stubborn and listen? Christ, you're worse than Oliver!" Thankfully, he didn't notice me cringe at the mention of Oliver's name, and went on. "I really liked you in the ninth grade, but I got over it when you started dating that Lucas jerk. And then we became heaps good friends in sophomore year chemistry, remember? You know why? Coz' you're a cool chick, Lils. Everyone thinks so. I think I even might have said something about that last night" He said, crinkling his nose trying to remember his exact words.

I let a half smile escape. "You said I was as cool as a hotdog with a milkshake"

He returned my grin. "That's right. And so last night, the grog just gave me so much confidence, and you looked so pretty, and come on, Lilly, I'm a hormonal teenage guy, and I gotta admit, you really turned me on." He blushed at the last part. "I wasn't going to miss out on the chance to be with the awesomest girl in our year, so I just kind of went for it. Hey, you didn't reject me either. So I'm guessing you liked it as much as I did?" He asked, his eyes reflecting the utmost sincerity.

I chewed the inside of my cheek while absorbing everything Todd just said. So he didn't like like me, but he thought I was the most awesome senior girl at our school. And he liked kissing me, that's for sure. But there wasn't any chemistry between us. No spark. I knew he could feel it too. There was nothing between us but a bit of awkwardness and an irate Oliver.

"Todd, I think the reason I kissed back was because I thought you liked me, and that made me feel really worthwhile," I sighed, staring out at the ocean. "I just hate the feeling of being afraid of being alone, you know? It really was just a self esteem boost, for both of us, wasn't it?" I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. "Are you following my rambling, or do I have to try and make sense?"

Todd smiled, and held up his hand for a high five. I rolled my eyes and shot back a smile, and slapped my palm against his. At the last second, he gently took my hand in his, and pressed the back of his lips to it in a way only a true friend would.

"Lilmeister, all the crap that pours out of your mouth makes perfect sense to me."


	6. Thank You, Captain Obvious

I closed my watering eyes again the breeze blowing in my face. My cheeks were numb and my hair whipped around my face as I sat on the handlebars of Todd's bike, currently heading in the direction of my house. Insisting that I was in no condition to make the trip back from the beach by myself, Todd plonked me on the front of his bicycle with a promise not to crash it again and give me another concussion. Grateful as I was, I couldn't help giving a little squeak of terror every time the front wheel wobbled. Todd just laughed at me. 

"Chillax, Lil, we're nearly there!" He reassured me.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious. Here's my drivewaEEEY!" I let out another squeal as Todd swerved sharply up my driveway. "That was NOT funny!" I exclaimed, leaping off the handlebars and aiming a punch at Todd's arm.

"Yeah, it was! You should have seen your face!" Todd sniggered as he ducked my flying fist. 

I went to hit him again, but paused when I saw his face had fallen and was staring at my front porch with a look of apprehension. I turned to see what it was, and I let out a sigh of relief. It was just Miley. Angry Miley. Angry, exasperated, resentful Miley. Ah, Shit. This wasn't good.

"Um, Lils, I think I'll catch you later. Remember, no sleep for 6 hours, okay?" mumbled Todd. He backed his bike out of my driveway and headed off down the street.

The incensed expression on Miley's face flickered with confusion. "What's he talking about?" She asked.

"Oh, the great klutz knocked me off my board and gave me a concussion" I moaned. "I have a massive headache, and I really have to talk to you…"

"Oh, yeah? About your manwhore boyfriend back there?" She cut me off by pointing in the direction Todd headed. "Oliver already phoned and told me all about last night."

I gulped. "You… You spoke to Oliver?" She nodded. "Crap."

"Crap is right, Lilly! I can't believe you would put Oliver in that situation!" she yelled.

"ME? You're the one who blew him off last night then totally crushed him by hooking up with Dex!" I retaliated. "I had to put the pieces of his broken ego back together!" Okay, so I was being a little overdramatic. 

"Oh, don't be so overdramatic." Dammit, she pinned me. I hate fighting with your best friends, they know all your weaknesses, how to press your buttons and break you down. "Look, I know you wish you were as good at getting guys to notice you like me, but that doesn't mean you have to slut around, and especially in front of Oliver, who no doubt has now completely lost any respect for you, what the hell were you possibly thinking, Lilly?"

There were so many things wrong with that sentence that I didn't know where to start. "First of all, I do NOT wish I got people to notice me like you! Most of the attention you get is when you're Hannah fucking Montana anyway, and you seriously think those people have any respect for YOU? They are lecherous, fame sucking plastics! The LAST thing I want is attention from those kinds of people. Secondly, I am most definitely not the slut here! I've known Todd for ages, and we just hooked up in the heat of the moment. What about you, huh? You've hardly known Dex for a month, and already you're drunkenly snogging him? And Jake? Jesse? How long did you date those guys before you let them feel you up? I wonder how the tabloids would react if they found out how easy their favourite perfect, pretty, precious popstar was?" I spat.

Miley's eyes widened in horror. "You wouldn't!" she squeaked.

"Of course I wouldn't, don't be a fucking moron! I'm just saying you need to drop the sweet and innocent act and stop being so bloody hypocritical! It's not as if we're so different, Miles. We both like the attention. Where the hell did our self-esteem go when we hit high school? All we seemed to care about was people liking us, and not bothering with liking ourselves. Do you like who you are, Miley? Do you?" I whispered with a hint of desperation.

"Bitch please, what's not to like?" Miley sneered.

I just looked at her in disbelief. She really didn't see? We were just putting on a façade, disguising ourselves for from other people for four years, because we were frightened of them not liking who we really are. Well, I for one was sick of pretending. "Leave. Now." I demanded.

"I am so gone already!" Miley huffed as she stomped down the porch steps. "By the way, Jesse asked me to get Lola's number before he asked Hannah out, but I told him that she was a lot less pretty close up, and that she gave blowjobs on the first date." she cackled as she walked away. 

Oh. Hell. No. 

She just pushed the button. My big, red Jesse McCartney button, she just gave it a poke. And it hurt. I stormed into my house and slammed the door behind me. Once again I heard the ominous rumble of a thunderstorm overhead, and slowly the raindrops started to patter the windows. Good, I hope Miley gets drenched. Stupid cow. I continued my rage into my bedroom, where I finally got the courage to look at myself in the mirror. Who was that girl staring back at me? Real or Fake Lilly? I honestly didn't know.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, there was a timid knocking on the glass double doors that separate my backyard and my bedroom. I groggily got up from my bed, opened my curtains, and my mouth dropped open. On the opposite side of the glass was a very bedraggled Miley. Hesitantly, I slid open the door. "Yes?" I asked in an icy tone.

"I got locked out of my house." She said softly, staring at the ground.

"And?" What the heck did that have to do with me?

"…I don't like who I am." she whimpered, a tear trickling down her face and splashing onto the toe of her shoe.

"Oh, Miles." I sighed, opening the door and letting her in.

In she squelched, dripping water drops all over my carpet.

"Hold on, I'll get you a towel" I said.

I went into the hall closet and got out the biggest, fluffiest towel I could find. When I walked back into my room, Miley was standing in a puddle in front of my bookcase, looking at the various photos stuck around the shelves. I wrapped the towel around her shoulders, and looked closer at the one particular photo she was staring at. It was one of Oliver and me mucking around in the ninth grade, trying to share the same black jumper. We both managed to get our heads into the hood, and I was able to get one arm in and fling it around Oliver's waist. His arm was too beefy for my little jumper, so he draped his arm over my shoulder and poked his tongue out at the camera just as Miley was taking the photo. I had my eyes squeezed tight and a huge grin on my face.

"You guys look so happy!" Miley remarked.

"That's coz we were! God, remember that day? It was just after you got back from some Hannah thing, and we ate so many jelly babies we could spit in technicolour." I replied.

"Yeah. That was the best." Miley grinned, rubbing her damp hair in the towel.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe I still have this photo!" I exclaimed, pointing to the picture taken on the day Zombie Slayer extraordinaire Jake Ryan came to Seaview Middle School. I had gone delirious with excitement, and had pushed myself to the front of the group. My face was split into a wide smile, but when I think back, I wasn't really happy. Just overcome with exhilaration of being _THIS CLOSE_ to a famous person. So I ripped the photo off the bookshelf and tore it in half.

"What are you doing?" Miley gasped.

"I wasn't happy in that picture! I am a new Lilly now, no more pretending. So for a start, I'm going to destroy every photo that I'm faking a smile in!" I was elated at this prospect, and immediately went about tearing up every bogus snapshot I could find. There was only a few, just a couple from some drunken house party, and some from cheerleading when I really didn't feel like it, but I still had to act peppy. Then I found one I had to absolutely burn. It was from junior year, and it was time for the happy yearbook pictures. It was pretty much the worst day in my life - my old dog had died, I failed my chemistry test and Amber had spilt spaghetti sauce all over my favourite sweater. But I had to act�like none of that mattered,�so when people looked at the yearbook in years to come, they would say "Look, isn't she happy?" But I wasn't. I felt like shit. But I still plastered on a grin and smiled for the camera, along with Oliver and Miley. I knew they were feeling pretty crap too, but they faked smiles as well. It was so phony it was sickening. 

"Lilly?" I heard Miley speak delicately behind me. I turned around, having almost forgotten she was there.

"I'm so sorry! I shouldn't let people latch onto me because of my celebrity. I try so, so hard not to become just another popstar clone, but it's just really tricky. So I guess when I find a guy who says they like who I really am, who am I to turn them down? Jesus, I am the slut!" Miley burst into tears.

"Shh, Miles, you're not a slut, skank, whore or any other promiscuous term." I assured her.

Miley let out a watery chuckle. "Everything I said before, it wasn't true, about you being a slut or Todd being a manwhore, or me telling Jesse about you giving blowjobs! I wouldn't ever do that to you!"

"Well, Duh! We both know I have to wait til the second date!" I joked.

That got a proper laugh out of her. But there was still one thing I desperately had to know.

"Miley…Did Jesse McCartney REALLY ask for�Lola's phone number?" I looked at her with hopeful anticipation.

"No." She responded. My face fell. "But Nick Jonas did ask Hannah if she knew the blonde girl in the green shirt at the beach concert. I told him that she was the most wonderfully remarkable person I had the pleasure of knowing."

My face broke into a big, wide (and 100 percent real) smile.

* * *

_Thank you sooo much to all my reviewers! You guys are helping make this story better! You all deserve some sort of chocolate muffin. This chapter is quite long, mainly because I REALLY don't want to study chemistry. Who needs to know about oxidation reduction reactions and electrochemical cells anyway. Oh wait, that's right, ME._

_OOH btw, that picture I described of Lilly and Oliver in the jumper – IT EXISTS. It's one of the pictures stuck on Miley's wall in HM. SQUEEEEEEFLIBBERTIGIBBITYAY! Loliver hints? OH YES, I THINK SO! It makes me happyyyyy :D._


	7. Nobody's Perfect

Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get a really nice dark chocolate nougat piece, and it melts on your tongue and your friends laugh at the drool dribbling out of the corners of your mouth. But sometimes you get a deadly piece of coconut cream which you're morbidly allergic to, and you go into anaphylactic shock and have to be rushed to the hospital with a tube in your arm and a mask over your face. I was thirteen when that happened, all because Oliver accidently gave me a brownie without checking to see what was in it. He stills owes me big time for that. So as I was sitting in my room, stuffing my face with coconut-free chocolate, it made me think back. How many bad things has Oliver done to me and I've forgiven him? That brownie incident was a doozy, plus that time he made me miss a Maroon 5 concert after he glued me to a chair. The point is, he can't stay mad at me forever. I hope. He hasn't been answering my calls.

After Miley and I fought and made up the day before, I made a potentially life-altering decision. It's probably one we've all thought about doing, but never actually had the guts or effort to do it. But I was going to make the effort. Tomorrow when I go to school, I am going to be me. I'm going to wear what I what, say what I want, do what I want, without worrying about what other people might think of me. It's like the great Kurt Cobain once said;

"_**I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."**_

Three minutes into picking out my outfit for the next day, I nearly had an anxiety attack. I had to call Miley.

One Ring, Two Rings, Three Rings, Four… Jesus Christ, woman, I'm practically hyperventilating, the least you can do is pick up your phone!

"Hello?"

"Oh my god, Miley, HUGE disaster! I own absolutely no original clothes! They're either all Lola's or Hannah's or things I bought because I thought they looked good on someone else! What the fuck am I going to do?" I shrieked

"Lilly, calm down! Freaking out will not help this situation! Do you want me to come over?" she offered.

"You might have to, before I throw a lit match in my wardrobe!"

"Oh my god, Lilly, don't do anything drastic! I'll be there in ten minutes!" **Click.** She was gone.

The entire contents of my clothes closet were dumped on my bed. Miley was rifling though it as I looked on in despair. She'd pick up an item, and if she shook her head and made a 'tchya' sound in the back of her throat, it would be thrown back in my closet. But if she gave her head a quick nod and muttered something unintelligible under her breath, then it would be tossed to an ever increasing pile on the floor next to me. I gazed solemnly at the mix of Lola and Hannah clothes at my feet. I didn't want to wear any of those clothes. They weren't me. They weren't Lilly. I heard another 'tchya' and glanced up to see Miley throw an interesting looking vest back into my closet.

"Hey, wait a sec! What was that?" I jumped up and dived inside my wardrobe.

"Oh, Lil, you aren't serious? That thing is gross!" Miley exclaimed.

I emerged clutching a grey woollen vest that Sarah had given me for my seventeenth birthday. It was made out of 100 organic material or something. I wrinkled my nose at it back then, but on closer inspection, it was actually quite unique. It went past my hips, and buttoned down from my chest, with a little belt you could do up around the waist. It also had big pockets, which pretty much says everything about what I need in my life. I absolutely despise handbags. This vest embodies my personality, and I wondered why I had never worn it before.

"I like it." I murmured, smiling slightly.

"Really? Uh, okay, what are you going to wear with it then?" Miley questioned disbelievingly.

I turned to look at some of the other clothes she had chucked back in my closet. I dug around in the pile until I came across of bright purple jeans. I loved them as soon as I saw them, but vowed never to wear them again after Amber insulted me the first day I wore them. The hateful words still ring in my ears…

"Hey, Truscott! Those jeans make your ass look bigger than Violet Beaureguard! Why don't you get some Oompa Loompas to squeeze you out? Oooh, tsss" she hissed, touching fingers with Ashley like she always did. You'd think by the time they got past junior high they would have gotten over it.

I didn't care about them anymore. I was going to wear these jeans with pride. And this time I wouldn't need Oliver to yell my comeback for me, because I wouldn't be rushing to the girls' bathroom in tears. See how they like me now.

I threw the jeans on my bed next to the vest. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Miley look down her nose at them, and I grinned with a twisted sort of satisfaction. I poked around my shirts to see if I could find one to go with the rest of my outfit. I threw the rejects over my shoulder and as I came to the last few tees I had, I was starting to panic. Surely I had some sort of shirt that I could wear, that cries out 'individuality!'.

Nothing.

I sighed and turned back to Miley, who had been watching me with discontent. I opened my mouth to admit defeat, but then I saw it, in the tiny collection of clothing Miley had yet to reject or condone. It was the white t-shirt I made to go to a Something Corporate concert last year. Hannah got Mike and Lola backstage passes, and Oliver and I nearly had a stroke when we found out. We were so excited we decided to make our own shirts with our favourite lyrics on them. Oliver had 'Today is a good day' scrawled across his chest in black sharpie. I wrote with the same sharpie 'I could be your punk rock princess, would you be my garage band king?" on my t-shirt, and decorated it with random doodles. And at the concert, the drummer even complemented me on my ninja stick figures. I think it's fair to say it was the singularly most spectacular moment of my life. So I had a big grin on my face as I lifted it up.

"Are you sure? It's kinda lame..." Miley grumbled.

"Hush your mouth, girl! I think you mean it's the most awesome shirt ever!" I giggled.

Miley sighed and surrendered to the awesomeness of my t-shirt. "Shoes?" she asked.

"Are you retarded? What other shoes would I wear?" I pointed to my shabby black hi-tops with rainbow laces in the corner.

"Ah, of course" Miley groaned, rolling her eyes.

I just poked my tongue out at her. My clothes were perfect. My optimistic attitude was perfect. Tomorrow was going to be perfect.

But, as Hannah Montana says, nobody's perfect.

* * *

My ponytail swung and I walked smiling down the hallway. Sarah had already squealed with delight when she saw me wearing her vest, and Joanie asked me when I got my shirt. So all in all, I was feeling pretty good. But as I came up to my locker, I glanced down the corridor and saw Todd. Laughing with Oliver. What the hell? Oliver wouldn't even return my calls, yet he was mucking around with Todd like nothing had even happened. I was about to walk up and give Oliver a piece of my mind when I was tapped on the shoulder from behind.

"Well, Lil_loser_, I see you're wearing those dumb Willy Wonka pants again!" I heard I malicious voice snigger behind me.

I whipped round to face my verbal attacker. "Oh, shove it where the sun don't shine, Amber!" I snapped. The entire hall froze, staring at the potential social volcano about to erupt.

"Oh look, Ashley, the loser got some backbone! I hope it holds up without the rest of her dorky friends to back her up." Amber sneered, and Ashley giggled along like the stupid clone she was.

Over Ashley's shoulder, I saw Miley's eyes flash with hurt. I shot her a look that said 'let me handle this'.

"For Christ's sake, Amber, what the fuck is your problem?" I yelled. I heard a sharp intake of breath of everyone within earshot. "I mean, do you get some kind of demented pleasure from humiliating people? God forbid you fall off your pedestal and walk round with us lowly people! Gee, I dunno you might catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror, or your dumb sidekicks shiny, greasy skin, but trust me; you're not going to like what you see. Because I don't know if you've noticed, but you are a fucking bitch! And I've got some news for you honey, nobody likes bitches. And who the fuck are you to judge me anyway? What makes you so much better than me? Is it because I'm a loser? Well Amber, I don't know what game you're playing, but if winning means being anything like you, then I am more than happy to lose!" I finished, breathing deeply.

Silence.

Amber just goggled at me with a wide open mouth. Ashley was desperately wiping at her skin. I just stared calmly at both of them.

Then the cheering started. Everyone was cheering. For me. I beamed around at my peers, who were clapping, whistling, hooting, and I swear I heard Todd chanting my name. I gave a pointed look to Amber and Ashley, who were still frozen in the same position they were in when I started my tirade. I raised my eyebrows and brushed between them as I marched back down the corridor. I linked arms with Miley as she gave a small squeal. I silently begged her not to start happy dancing, it was hard to remain composed enough as it was. Thankfully, she just leaned in to whisper something in my ear.

"Did you just quote Scrubs?" She giggled.

"Yes!" I whispered back breathlessly.

I turned back to give a final triumphant glance at my school friends. My eyes locked onto Oliver.

He was the only one who wasn't cheering. His hands hung limply at his sides, and he stared at me with a blank expression on his face.

He was still angry at me. Geez, Oliver, come on!

Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has those days.


	8. Screw You Guys

"Way to go, Lilly!" Nick congratulated me as I sat down at my regular table in the cafeteria.

I only answered with a grim twist of the corners of my mouth. Oliver's lack of reaction had put a huge damper on my total annihilation of Amber. What the hell was wrong with him? He seemed to be getting along with Todd alright, so why was he still ignoring me?

"Why the long face? You're the school hero at the moment!" Miley chuckled at she plopped next to me.

"Do you know why Oliver's still mad at me? He didn't even clap when I handed Amber's ass to her on a platter. So much for having my back." I whinged.

"I…um…not really. I mean, he hasn't spoken to me at all either." Miley mumbled.

"What? Why? You said he called you on Saturday!" If he didn't call, then how did she find out about Todd and I?

"He did." Phew. "He said me he was still pissed off at me, but he wanted to make sure you hadn't told me some cock and bull sob story to make me feel bad for poor old Lilly." She said in a low voice.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" I shrieked. Oliver knows I always tell the truth, not matter how crap it may be.

"Uh, Lilly, maybe we should take this conversation somewhere else. People are staring…" Miley trailed off.

"So what? What are you all looking at? STARE BEARS!" I yelled around the cafeteria. What the hell? Stare bears? Real mature, Lilly.

"Lilly, please, let's just go outside. "Miley pleaded.

"Fine!" I grumbled. I didn't really want all my school mates to see me mentally implode anyway.

As we were getting up to leave, Oliver walked through the swinging doors with Todd.

"You!" I cried, pointing an accusing finger at Todd. He and Oliver turned to face me with scared expressions, with good reason. They knew me well enough to know that when I am in a bad mood, I am in a REALLY bad mood. I strode up to the two petrified boys and grabbed Todd by the arm. "I need to talk to you." I demanded through gritted teeth.

"Okay!" Todd squeaked in terror. "I'm losing feeling in my arm though, do you think you could…"

"Todd, you know you don't have to go with her, right?" Oliver interrupted.

"Excuse me? I said I needed to talk to him!" I repeated incredulously.

"So? You're not the boss of him!" Oliver retaliated. Wow, it's certainly maturity central in the cafeteria today.

"Just shut up, Oliver, stop being so impossible!" I retorted.

"You're impossiblerer!" He snapped.

"That is so four year's ago, Oliver! Can't you think of any better comebacks in that doughnut brain of yours?" I teased.

"Fuck you, Lilly." He spat.

I froze. In the fourteen years we'd been best friends, he had never said that to me, ever. The shock of it brought my usually quick brain to a standstill.

"Who the hell do you think you are, huh?" He hissed.

I just looked at him with an expression that I hoped was devoid of emotion, with the exception of a tiny tear trickling down the side of my face. "I'm Lilly Truscott. Your best friend that you've never sworn at in your life. The same Lilly who stayed your friend even after you nearly killed her with a coconut brownie. The same Lilly that helped you stay away from sugary foods when you found out about your diabetes. I'm just Lilly" I said with a trembling lip. "But who are you? You're not Oliver. Oliver wouldn't swear at his best friend. He wouldn't ignore her because of a selfish mistake she made. The Oliver I know would have my back when I was up against the biggest bitch in the school. And if you're not that Oliver, then I'm not sure that I want to know you."

I took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. I never broke eye contact with him through my whole speech, and maintained it even as I wiped away the stray tear on my cheek.

"Lilly, I…" Oliver began.

"Goodbye." I whispered, and then ran out of the cafeteria as fast as my legs would take me.

* * *

I sat on the swing set, rocking on my toes, around the corner from Seaview High.

Backwards. Forwards. Backwards. Forwards. Just like me. Whenever I find a way to move forward, something sets me back. Then I figure out how to get a little bit further, but I'm pulled back once again. The course of true love never did run smooth. The same goes for Lilly Truscott's life. But for once, I would really like to go forward without stopping to look back, worried about what was going to sneak up on me and turn my world upside down once again.

"You're on fire today!" I heard a voice declare behind me. I twisted around on the seat to see Todd standing awkwardly at the edge of the swing set, followed closely by Miley. "First Amber, then Oliver, girl, you're not holding back an inch!" He grinned.

"Then why do I feel so shit about it?" I muttered.

"You shouldn't, Lils. Both Amber and Oliver needed to hear what you had to say." Todd reassured me.

"Yeah!" Miley chimed in. "That's what you wanted, isn't it? To not care about what other people thought, and just say whatever the hell you want?"

"I guess…" I sighed. "I just never expected to say to Oliver that I didn't want to know him! Why is he being such an asshole? I mean, he's talking to you, and you started this whole catastrophe!" I glared at Todd. He looked as if he was about to sit on the swing next to me, but at the look on my face he backed away and leant on the supporting post instead. Miley sat on the other swing.

"I honestly wish I knew why Oliver is being dickhead, Lil, I really do. I mean, with me, he has a fair excuse, but with you, honey, you did everything you could have done to make up for your mistake, and if he's forgiven Todd, why can't he forgive you, right?" She made a fair point. "How come Oliver is talking to you and not Lilly, anyway?" Miley turned on Todd menacingly.

"Look, I don't discuss my private conversations with other people. You gossip girls might, but I…" Todd paused when he saw the livid expressions on our faces. "Think I could make and exception in this case." he finished nervously. "Oliver and I kinda had a 'man to man' chat about Friday night."

"Ooh, really? What did he say?" Miley asked excitedly.

"Erm, if I laid another hand on Lilly with the slightest intention of using or hurting her in any way then he would cut off my testicles with a chainsaw."

"No way! He said that? Harsh!" I exclaimed.

"Would I make that up? He seriously threatened my manhood! And he practically kicked me out of his house to go and find you to apologise. He was so different, dude. He was dead set on making sure that you knew I felt. That's why I went all mushy at the beach, I'm not one for talking about my _feelings_." He grunted, using his fingers as inverted commas as he said 'feelings'.

"What was so different about him? I mean, that threat was a bit out of line, but he's just looking out for Lilly, like any friend would." Miley stated, giving her head a sharp nod.

Yeah, right. Any friend would have come after me to apologise themselves. Todd's version of Saturday morning wasn't making any sense! Oliver was so mad at me, why would he try and get Todd to apologise? I decided not to voice my confusion yet, and let Todd finish.

"I dunno, it's like…he was more serious. Not the goofy Oliver we all know, but protective and determined. I thought at the time he wanted to prove something to Lilly, but I had no idea what it was."

"That's it?" Miley groaned with disappointment. "That doesn't help us at all!"

"His eyes." Todd piped up.

"Huh?" Miley was dumbfounded. But I knew what Todd was talking about. I saw something different in Oliver's eyes too, even if it was only for a drunken split second. I just didn't know what it meant.

"His eyes were fierce. I'd never seen him like that before. Like, full of passion." Todd continued.

Awkward silence. "Toddy, that was so gay!" I snorted. Miley collapsed in laughter.

"What? I couldn't think of a better word!" Todd defended himself and his incredibly homo description of Oliver's eyes.

Miley and I couldn't hear him. We had both fallen off the swings and were rolling around on the ground, gasping for air in between bouts of uncontrollable giggling.

"Screw you guys, I'm going back to school!" Todd yelled, storming back in the direction of Seaview.

"Sorry, Todderella!" I wheezed.

"Yeah, don't chuck a hissy fit, princess!" Miley blurted out, clutching her stomach.

Todd responded with the extension of his middle finger without even turning back.

Miley and I remained lying on the ground, bursting out with spontaneous hysterics every few seconds.

"Hey Miles, I think I'm just going to go home. I don't think I can face Oliver again. I only have English left, and I can read that dumb book in the comfort of my own room, instead of with 20 other emotastic art students and Todd the Flamboyant." I sniggered.

"Okay, Lils. Don't worry about Oliver. I'm going to see if he'll talk to me again. It'll be one step closer to every being patched back up, and going back to normal." Miley assured me.

"Normal. What is normal?" I pondered.

"Christ, don't even start!" Miley warned me.

"We can talk about normal until the cows come home," I winked at her.

"What is normal? Where is home? What are cows?" Miley caught on, chuckling.

"Ah, Douglas Adams. What a genius. Why can't I study him in English instead of this depressing Capote loser?" I heaved a sigh.

"Wishful thinking, Lils. I'll see you tomorrow, I have to get back." Miley waved over her shoulder as we said our farewells.

* * *

I had walked 11 blocks and was nearly at my house, in deep thought about life, the universe and everything, before I realised I had left my house keys in my locker.

Crap.

Luckily the door to my room has a few kinks to it. I could easily get it open by jiggling the lock in a particular pattern. Three shoves up, one tap down, two bangs to the side and a wiggle should get me in. I dawdled up my driveway, hopped over the gate that separated it from my backyard and patted my goofy dog that bounded up as I made my way across the lawn. Mentally preparing myself for the breaking and entering task ahead, I stopped as I saw a clumsily wrapped package sitting in front of the glass doors. I picked it up in confusion, turning it over in my hands and looking around to see if the person who had left it was still hanging around. I contemplated rattling it, but decided that probably wasn't the best decision. What if there was something live in there? OH FUCK, what if it was a box of spiders? I took a few deep breaths. Get it together, Lilly, what psychopath would send someone spiders? You've been watching too many shitty horror movies. Well, there was only one thing for it. I ripped off the brown paper, and my eyes bugged out of my head when I saw the contents inside.

Coconut-free chocolate brownies.

* * *

_Wow, I only discovered today that this fic is the featured fan fiction on loliver. 2ya. com! Thanks guys, what an honour!_

_Please review! I didn't finish just in time for desperate housewives for nothing you know :)_


	9. Not Too Much Mustard

One week, four days, three hours and 19 minutes.

That was how much time had passed since I had exploded at Oliver. And as good as it felt to get my feelings out in the open, I missed my best friend. One of my other halves. He knew me. We clicked. We'd clicked as soon as he handed me the sharpener for his 64 pack of crayons. But there was no way I was going to buckle. He had to apologise before I would be ready to let him back in my life. Still, the brownies were a nice touch. I knew they were from him, even though I hadn't gotten around to asking him. Only because my lips were sealed until he said sorry. I hadn't seen him at all around school, mostly because I had an enormous biology assignment I had to finish, so I spent most of my free time in the library. Miley had mentioned that he was spending a lot of time in the music room, to which I only responded with a "Pssh. Who cares?"

But I cared. I wanted him to care. Care enough to come after me. But he didn't. So I wasn't sure if things would ever go back to the way they were.

* * *

What a way to spend a Friday night. All alone, with a pile of DVDs and a big screen TV. My parents had gone into Los Angeles for the night, Miley had gone to an 18th of some person I didn't know, so I was stuck at home by myself after unloading my brother off to one of his friends' places. I slotted 'Lords of Dogtown' into the player, and settled back for some awesome skateboarding viewing. I fell asleep halfway through. My biology assignment had totally drained me.

Suddenly the opening chords of Metro Station's 'Kelsey' filled the air, and I bewilderedly snapped awake, and looked around the room for the source of the disturbance of my slumber. My cell phone was ringing. Who would possibly want to call me at 11 o'clock at night?

"Hello?" I mumbled sleepily.

"LILLYYYYYYY!" an extremely delighted voice screamed at the other end of the line.

"Miley?" Bloody hell. She was smashed, and now she was drunk-dialling. Not a good sign.

"Hey babe! I love you, you know that?" Miley squealed.

I sighed. "Yes Miles, I do. Hang up the phone before you say something you'll regret, sweetie."

"What are you talking about? I'm just saying I love you! You know who else that loves you that's here? GUESS!" She demanded.

"Who?" I groaned. I was getting sick of this. "Just tell me, I'm tired and want to go back to sleep."

"Oliver!" She exclaimed. I took a sharp intake of breath. "Yeah, he's here! He and I are besties again! Isn't that great? He wants to talk to you!"

I groaned. "Miley, I don't think that's such a good idea…" I began

"No, Miles! She hates me! And I don't blame her!" Oliver protested as Miley held the phone up to him.

"Come on, Ollie! She misses you! Just…" Miley went silent. I heard her phone clatter to the floor, and I cringed at the sound of retching.

"Fuck, Miley! That went all over my shoes! EW! Ugh, come on, stop crying and let's go get you cleaned up." I could hear Oliver comforting Miley, but apparently he was unaware that I could. I assumed Miley's phone was still on the ground.

"Lilly, Lilly..." I heard Miley sobbing.

"Ah, shit. Lil, are you still there?" Oliver spoke into Miley's phone as he picked it up.

I didn't reply. "Lilly! Answer me?" Oliver stated, more as a question than a demand. I remained silent. "Sorry." He whispered.

**Beeeeep.**

At the sound of the dial tone, I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. So Oliver apologised. It was an intoxicated apology, but sorry is sorry.

Drunken minds speak sober hearts.

* * *

The next day I decided to go and see Miley and see how she was handling the hangover I knew she would have. I also wanted to see if she remembered calling me. I seriously doubt it. Knocking on the door of the Stewart residence, I smiled at Jackson as he answered the door.

"Hey Jackson, how's Miley doing?" I enquired.

"Don't even ask! She's been sick all morning!" He complained.

"Poor diddums." I pouted with fake sympathy.

"Yeah, whatever. It's her own fault." He grunted.

"True. Is she in her room?"

He shook his head and pointed to the couch. There she was. Unconscious on the cushions, with her mouth wide open. I snorted at the site.

"I wouldn't wake her up if I were you. She can be a real bitch after a big night" Jackson warned.

"You don't have to tell me. I know what you mean." I chuckled.

"Well, while you're here, you want something to eat? Hot dog?" He offered.

"Yeah, why not?" I licked my lips at the thought. "But not too much…"

"Mustard, I know." Jackson interrupted. "This isn't the first time I've made you a hot dog."

"Thanks. You want a drink?" I mentioned as I walked over to the fridge, opened the door and peered inside.

"Hey, did you ever sort that thing out with Oliver?" Jackson asked out of the blue.

"What? Where did that come from?" I was so confused.

"He's at the door." Jackson shrugged.

I squeaked and ducked behind the counter, dragging Jackson down beside me, in the process splattering mustard all over the both of us.

"Fuckin' A, Lilly! What the hell are you doing?" he screeched like a girl as the mustard trickled down his neck.

"Shh! Did he see me?" I hissed. I didn't know why was so terrified of seeing Oliver. I think it was just because I had no idea what to say to him. And I wanted it to perfect. So he knew just how much hurt he had caused me, but I still forgave him anyway.

**Tap Tap Tap. **

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" I whispered quickly.

"I have to get the door!" Jackson hissed back at me.

"SEA MONKEY STOLE MY MONEY!" we heard Miley shriek as Oliver's incessant tapping woke her up from her stupor.

"Let Miley get it, please Jackson, he can't know I'm here!" I begged.

Jackson just crinkled his nose at me. "Fine. Does this mean I have to stay here too?" he moaned quietly.

"Shut up! They'll hear you!" I shushed. During our hushed argument, Miley had stumbled over to the door and managed to figure out how to turn the door handle to let Oliver in. I bit my lip and glanced at Jackson as he rolled his eyes as he sat back reading for some seriously invasive listening in.

"Hey Miles, how you feeling?" Oliver asked kindly.

"Like shit." Miley gurgled.

"Nice. Hey, um, have you seen Lilly today? I went to her place, but Heather said she came here."

"Nope, sorry. OH CRAP, I drunk dialled her last night didn't I?" Miley exhaled groggily.

"Yeah. I kinda apologised right after you threw up." Oliver winced.

"Really? Oh, Oliver that's so great. Now you guys can go back to be being friends and everything will be all good!" Miley was overjoyed.

"That's the thing, Miles. I don't think I can go back to being just friends with her. It won't be all good for me."

"What do you mean? How can you not be friends with Lilly? She's been your best friend since pre-school! She…She completes you!" Miley cried.

"Miley, Miley, I know. I said I can't go back to being just friends with Lilly." Oliver emphasised.

"Well then how can…OH." Miley stopped as realisation washed over her. "Wait, you like Lilly? I mean, like that?"

"Yeah." Oliver sighed.

"Holy moly. When did this happen?" Miley murmured in what I could only assume to be shock.

"You know at my party a couple of weeks ago?" He asked. Miley hummed in confirmation. "Well, you know after you, well, you know, rejected me…"

"Oliver, please, can we not talk about that?" Miley moaned.

"Okay well, after I went and told Lilly about it, she said that if she was the one I asked out, she wouldn't break my heart."

"She WHAT?" Miley yelped. Hey, that wasn't exactly what I said. But I could see how Oliver could have misinterpreted it. I suddenly realised what that look was in Oliver's eyes that night. It was desire. Oliver wanted me.

"Shush, Miles, Can you let me finish?" Oliver grumbled. Miley nodded. "Well, it kind got me thinking. What if I was dating Lilly? I mean, it's not like I hadn't thought about it before, but I'd always just thought that it would be way too awkward. But when I really thought about it, it makes perfect sense. Lil and I have been good friends for so long; we know everything about each other. And it's not just knowledge, its understanding. We get each other. We just fit." Oliver paused and looked at Miley for a reaction.

"That is the cutest thing I have ever heard! I never thought I'd see the day when you actually made sense!" Miley laughed.

"Yeah, except Lilly hates me right now, all because I acted like a jealous fuckwit. I want to apologise to her properly."

"I'm sure you'll think of something, Ollie." Miley reassured him.

"WHAT THE BLAZES?" I heard a manly voice bellow in the region above mine and Jackson's heads. Mr. Stewart had returned from his 'five mile' jog to the ice cream truck and back, and had just walked in the back door, staring at Jackson and I utterly confounded.

I quickly got to my feet, followed by Jackson, and we promptly slipped on the mustard on the tiles and plonked back down on the ground again faster than you can say 'sweet niblets!'

"Ouch." Jackson whinged.

"What do you mean, ouch? I'm the one who broke your fall!" I cringed.

We both tenderly got to our feet and turned shamefacedly to look towards Miley and Oliver, who were staring at us with open mouths. When I thought about the next time I would see Oliver, me being red faced and covered in mustard did not factor in to the notion.

"Were you guys eavesdropping?" Miley demanded.

"Who, what, me? No, I mean, what mustard? Who am I? I'm not even here!" Jackson babbled, then skidding on the remaining mustard sprinted up the stairs.

Oliver and Miley were still glaring at me expectantly. "There may have been some dropping of eaves" I muttered, staring at the floor.

"How much did you hear?" Oliver asked quietly. Miley glanced at him nervously.

"Everything" I replied, even quieter. "Sorry, I have to go" I stifled a sob, turned on my heel and ran past Mr. Stewart out the back door.

Everything made sense now. The way Oliver acted. His weird behaviour. The look in his eyes, I knew it wasn't just me being drunk and Todd being gay. Oliver liked me. But I didn't know what the hell to do about it.


	10. Gossip Blogs and Alcohol

Oh my god.

OH MY GOD.

What was I going to do? Oliver can't like me as more than a friend! We knew each other way too well for a romantic relationship to ever work! I mean, crushes on your best friends should be reserved for freshman year, but we all get too mature for that sort of nonsense after then. I mean, if we were meant for each other, we would have figured it out before now, right? RIGHT??

Oh Christ, I was freaking out. A MAJOR freak out. I needed to talk to someone before I well and truly snapped, and starting babbling to myself or throwing condiments at random strangers.

I couldn't call Oliver; he wouldn't want to talk to me after I bolted out of Miley's like that. Miley would probably be pissed about me eavesdropping. Jackson would be washing mustard out of all his nooks and crannies. That left one other person who knew me well enough to understand me if I went round the bend and started screaming gibberish. I fumbled with the speed dial on my cell phone and listened to the ringing with relief.

"Aloha!" A recognisably cheery voice answered.

"Todd! It's Lilly. I need to talk to you."

"Alrighty then! Do you want me to come over later?" Todd breezed.

"No, Todd, I need to talk NOW! Oliver has a crush on me!" I spluttered.

"He told you? FINALLY!" Todd gasped.

"You KNEW?" I shrieked.

"I, uh…pssh, no!" He faltered. "Look, I'm at the beach, I'll be in there in about 10 minutes, okay?"

"Yes, you will." I muttered through gritted teeth. He had already hung up. Coward.

Ten minutes gave me just enough time to make some cookie dough, and believe me, I was going to need a lot of it.

* * *

I had just finished mixing mini m&ms into the dough mix when I heard tapping from my bedroom. I love how none of my friends even bother ringing the front doorbell, they just jump the fence and go straight to the doors of my room. Picking up the bowl and two spoons, I sauntered into my room and let Todd in.

"Ugh, you smell like sweat and salty water." I sniffed as he passed me.

"That's coz I came as fast as I could from the beach, fool." He sneered. "Ooh, cookie dough!"

I passed him a spoon and held out the bowl so he could dig in. We both sat down on my bed, and I watched him apprehensively while he munched on my concoction.

"What?" he eyed me dubiously.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I pouted.

"Lil, it wasn't my place. I knew Oliver would tell you eventually."

"He, um, didn't tell me. I happened to overhear him telling Miley." I scuffed the toe of my shoe on the ground like a naughty child being reprimanded.

Todd groaned. "Brilliant. Fucking fantastic. Is that why you have mustard on your shirt?"

"Don't change the subject!" I scolded. "What am I going to do? Things between me and Oliver were just starting to get better, and then this bombshell drops. Our friendship is so, so… PSHYYYUUUWWW!" I imitated a bomb exploding, unable to think of a better word.

"It's not. Why don't you just give him a chance?" Todd shrugged.

"Are you retarded? I can't go out with Oliver!" I shrieked.

"Why not?" Todd just looked at me earnestly.

My mind went blank. I couldn't for the life of me think of one reason why I shouldn't date Oliver.

"See!" Todd smirked. "What reasons did Oliver tell Miley?"

I sighed. "He said we were perfect for each other. That we fit."

"He's right. You guys would make a great couple; you know each other so amazingly well. It's destiny." Todd heaved a dreamy sigh.

I raised my eyebrow. "Toddy, you're doing it again."

"What?" He was perplexed.

"Being queer. Destiny? What the fuck, dude?" I taunted.

"Shut up! You don't believe in destiny?" He retaliated.

"I'm nearly eighteen, Todd. All I believe in is gossip blogs and alcohol solving all my problems."

"You're lady-like, you are." He chuckled. "Just think about it, Lilly. What have you got to lose?" I looked at him like he had an extra nipple. "Oh, right. Him."

"I just want things to go back to the way they were. When Oliver and I were still best friends and we didn't have to worry about our stupid feelings." I grumbled.

"Why just be friends, when you could have it so much better?" Todd questioned. Wow, he was full of surprises today. That was about the fifth time he'd rendered me speechless, a huge feat on its own. All I could do was shovel more cookie dough in my mouth in contemplation.

"I mean, isn't this what you've been looking for? Somebody toooooo loooovvee?" He broke out into a classic melody.

"You know who sings that song? Queen, Todd. QUEEN." I emphasised.

"SHIT! Please ignore any of my future accidental homosexual references, okay?" He pleaded.

"It's alright, Toddy, I'd be totally supportive if you swung that way." I teased.

"I'M NOT GAY!" He yelped.

I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Todd glared at me disapprovingly. "Did this talk help you at all? Because I'm not sticking around for any more of this abuse!"

I stopped giggling, clutching my stomach and gasping for air. "Sorry, sorry, I just…what were we talking about again? I was distracted by thoughts of you in a fluorescent pink g-string." I snorted into hysterics once again.

"Fuck, Lilly! We were talking about the potential perfection of a romantic relationship with one of your best friends! But if all you can think about is me at the Mardi Gras, then I'm out! I thought Oliver meant more to you than this!' Todd yelled angrily as he got up to leave.

That stopped my torrents of laughter. I felt horrible. "I'm so sorry, Todd. He does mean more to me than anyone could ever know. I really appreciate all your help." I whispered at my bedspread.

Todd just sighed, plopped down to face to me, and starting rubbing soothing circles on my back and I valiantly fought the tears threatening to overflow.

"You mean a lot to him too, Lilly. He would go to ends of the earth to make you smile, and you would do the same. Please, try and see this from his point of view. I know he'd make you so, so happy, Lil. That's all I want for the both of you."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Todd was such a good friend to me, and I didn't deserve him at all. The tears started to drip down my cheeks.

"Thank you. Thank you so much. "I sobbed.

Todd pulled me into a tight hug. I rested my forehead on his shoulder and let his arms encircle my shoulders. "It's fine, Lilmeister. Everything will fine." He whispered onto the top of my head.

"You're a good friend, Toddy. A good, straight as ruler, absolutely non-ostentatious friend." I giggled into his chest.

"I'm glad you think so. You're not too bad yourself, you know."

We sat in the same position for a few more minutes, knowing we were in the presence of a true friend, and as much as I hate acronyms, he really was a BFF.

Suddenly the tranquillity was broken by Todd shrieking and throwing himself backwards off the end of my bed.

"Holy crap, Todd, what the hell are you doing?" I cried, my heart still pumping from the shock of his unexpected acrobatics.

Todd just pointed towards the big, glass doors of my room. Out of the corner of my eye, I could already see someone standing there. I knew who it was before I turned to face the fuming figure looming in the doorframe.

Oliver.

With a hate-filled glance at Todd on the ground, and a sorrowful one at me, he turned away and started walking back across my yard.

"Oliver, wait!" I cried, sprinting out of the double doors, followed hastily by Todd.

He paused for a split second, before continuing towards the gate without even looking back. I grabbed his arm and ran around to face him.

"It…wasn't…what…it…looked…" I wheezed, still puffed from the rapid dash.

"Bull shit! I know what I saw!" Oliver spat. "How could you do this to me?" he turned on Todd. "You know how I feel about her!"

"Dude, I didn't do anything! She called me and said she needed to talk! You know when she has to talk, she has to talk! I had to prevent her from going on a food flinging tirade!" Todd defended himself. "You two need to sort this out right now! I'm not taking anymore of this shit! Talk, now! I'll be watching you." He marched back into my room, took a seat on my bed, and slowly started spooning the remains of the cookie dough into his mouth, glowering menacingly at the both of us. Oliver and I just stared at him in bewilderment.

"Oliver, please, listen to me." I gently took his face in both my hands and turned it to look me in the eyes. And I saw it for a second time. Deep in his eyes, that look of desire. It was stronger than last time. "I would never lie to you" I spoke softly. "Todd was just being a friend. I was literally this close to going out into the street to pelt passers by with meatballs"

Oliver gave a small smile, took my hands in his and removed them from his face, and just tenderly held them by his sides. "I know, Lilly. How did I end up with such freaks for best friends?" he sighed.

"We were probably attracted by your own freak pheromones" I nervously giggled. The tension was easing faster than I thought it would. Already Oliver and I were joking like nothing had ever happened.

"Lil," Oliver whispered and tugged on my hands, forcing me to take a step closer to him. "You know I love you, right?"

Way to go, Oliver, now the tension was higher than ever. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I had barely had time to absorb all of these emotions flowing through me. Oliver took my silence as an affirmative answer.

"Regardless as a friend, or as something more, I really do, Lil. And if you decide don't want to take our friendship further, that you don't feel the same as me, then I can deal with it. I'll move on. You won't have crushed my spirit or anything. I would rather be in your life as a friend than ruin any chance we have by blowing it all on a silly crush."

"It's not silly." I blurted out. I wanted to tell him I thought it could work. That he was right. That we had a definite chance of being happy together. But I wasn't. Come on, Lilly? What happened to the fearless girl that wasn't afraid to speak her mind? The bitch had turned her tail and ran the first time a real challenge had shown up. Oliver looked at me with sincere expectance.

"I…just…um" I stuttered. Pull yourself together, you blithering idiot! "I need to think about it, okay? I don't want to pretend with you. I don't pretend anymore." I mumbled, staring at the ground.

Oliver tucked his index finger under my chin, and lifted it to come practically nose to nose with him. "You never have pretended with me, Lil. You will never have to. I like you just as you are." He breathed, his hot breath tickling my face.

"You got that line from Bridget Jones!" I heard a voice cry from somewhere in the vicinity of the oak tree in my yard. Oliver and I looked around startled, and our eyes eventually landed on my brother, perched on a lower branch. I didn't even know he was home yet.

Oliver rolled his eyes and turned to face me. "I'll see you tomorrow, maybe?" he asked hopefully.

I smiled. "Definitely." He returned my grin as I enveloped my arms around his wait in a hug. "I've missed you" I mumbled. "I'm glad you finally came after me"

He kissed the top of my head. "Me too. More than you know"

"Get a room!" came the obnoxious voice of my brother once again.

Oliver and I broke apart in mild embarrassment. "See you later, alligator" he beamed.

"In a while, crocodile" I returned cheekily.

With a wave of his hand, he had jumped the fence, and was gone. What a day. I was going to need more cookie dough.

* * *

_Howdy faithful readers! I am off on a school trip to China next week! My teacher told me I wasn't allowed to bring my FREE TIBET t-shirt because I might be shot. Meh. So I think this will be the last update for a couple of weeks. Of course, if I get a few extra reviews, I might be inspired to put a short chapter up before I leave. -wink wink-_


	11. What a Cuckoo Dream

I had a really weird dream that night. It was like a freaky clip show of all the good times Oliver and I have had together. Surfing, skating, mucking around at school, getting smashed off our faces and suffering the consequences the morning after. That time we found a corn chip that looked exactly like Darth Vader. We've had heaps of good times, and I didn't want that to stop. If I started dating Oliver, would life just carry on as usual? Would we just do the stuff we normally did, with the added bonus of an occasional snuggle? I wish I knew.

The dream ended really badly. It was just Oliver standing there. Staring blankly into oblivion. He was crying. I tried calling out to him, to comfort him, to tell him everything was going to be all right. He just took a step forward and disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

I woke in a cold sweat. What a cuckoo dream. It was 3 in the morning, and I was really freaked out. I fumbled around in the dark for my cell phone, knocking my iPod speakers off my bedside table in the process. "Fuck!" I swore under my breath. I finally grasped my phone and pressed the familiar speed dial buttons. I held my breath as I anxiously listened to the ringing.

"Mmphrglcy?" I heard a groggy voice mumble. I sighed with relief.

"Oliver, it's me."

"Lilly? What's the matter? Are you okay?" He sounded worried. What the hell was the matter with me? Was I okay? Why was I calling my best friend at this ungodly hour?

"I need to see you." I whispered delicately.

"Sure. Be there in five." **Click.** No questions, no nothing. Oliver was willing to come to my house in the dead of night because I called him on a whim. That's friendship. I tiptoed over to my door and unhooked the latch, then crept back into bed to wait.

* * *

True to his word, five minutes later there was a soft tapping and the gentle swishing sound of the sliding door being opened.

"Lils?" Oliver whispered, stepping into the room and sliding the door shut behind him. I practically flew to his shodowy form in the darkness, and glued my arms tightly around his neck, panting heavily. "Whoh, whoh, Lilly! What's wrong?"

"I have no idea!" I whispered gravely.

Oliver picked me up and I locked my legs tightly around his waist. He took a couple of steps, then gently lowered our entwined forms onto my bed, so he was leaning against my bolsters, and I was awkwardly sitting on top of him, my legs still encasing his waist and my face pushed firmly in his chest, breathing him in. I inhaled deeply, taking in as much as I could of this wonderful boy who had left the comfort of his warm bed to aid his hopeless and possibly clinically insane friend.

"Don't ever leave me." I whimpered.

Oliver pulled back from our embrace and looked at me with concern. "I would never leave you, Lil. Why would you think that?" He sounded hurt.

"I had a really bad dream. You left me. After all the fun we've had together, I hurt you and you left me. I don't want to hurt you, Oliver."

He sighed and lifted his hands to my face, running his thumbs over my cheeks. "I know you would never intentionally do me any harm, Lilly. You just have to give us a chance. If you never try then you'll never know" He mumbled faintly.

"I know I wouldn't mean to hurt you, but I don't exactly have a track record of being a good girlfriend. In fact, I'm kind of a sucky girlfriend. I'd never call you, or remember any important dates, and I'm hopelessly lazy in the commitment factor." I sighed.

"Nothing would have to change. I'm not looking for commitment, Lils. All I want is a chance to be with you, to be able to kiss you whenever I want, wherever I want. Fuck the consequences. All I want is you." He whispered fiercely. His hands tightened around my waist.

I raised my eyes to meet his. The same passion and desire was burning in them, and I melted in their heat. He was so right. We did fit. We knew each other inside out and still thought we were the most spectacular people on Earth.

Everything I have been looking for had been right in front of me the whole time.

How disgustingly clichéd. It made me want to turn and run. To scream NO! Things like this don't happen in real life! It could never work! But sitting here in the dark with Oliver, our limbs intertwined, breathing in perfect time, it felt real. What we felt was real. Oliver deserved to feel like this. We both did.

The tension between us was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Our faces were no more than 2 inches away from each other. I could feel his warm breath on my face. I licked my lips nervously. Oliver's eyes begged for permission to close the gap, to push his lips against mine, what he had be aching, craving to do for so long. He didn't have to ask. I lifted my hand and stroked his jaw line with my fingertips, feeling just a grazing of stubble. I ran my hand down to his chest as I leaned in, feeling his heartbeat through his thin t-shirt. Deep breath…

Our lips meet.

A rush of air leaves our lungs.

His arms enclose around me, pulling me closer.

My fingers curl into his shirt, bunching it in my fist.

We break apart. "Wow." We whisper simultaneously.

I grab him by the collar and pull him in to another lip lock. I run my fingers through his hair and let out a tiny giggle as I feel his tongue brush against mine. He grins against my mouth and pulls me down on top of him, so we both lay horizontally on my bed. I break the kiss and sit up, straddling him.

He groans. "No fair. How come you get to be on top?"

I just smile as I trace circles on the translucent skin just below his wrists. He fiddles with the string ties at the waist of my pyjama pants. "I was always more bossy than you" I tease.

"But I know your weak spots in more detail…" he responds, and runs a cold finger across the bare patch of skin above my pants and below my belly button, and I give an involuntary shiver. "Told you." he smirks as he places a hand behind my neck and pulls me down to kiss his lips once again.

Oliver's hands explore the contours of my body. The curves of my back, breasts, butt. I liquefy at his touch, melting into his arms. I can't resist it. At this moment, with this feeling, there isn't anything else I would rather be doing, or anywhere else I would rather be.

"Lilly?" Oliver pauses, unsure of what he is going to say next. "Uh...will…um…you…me…us?" He searches my face desperately to see if I can comprehend what he's trying to ask me. I do.

"No." I state. His face falls. "YES!" I exclaim as quietly as I can.

He just laughs and rolls me off his stomach. We lie face to face, pressing our foreheads together. "EMILIO!!" we both whisper-yell, and fall into silent hysterics.

"Dork" He snorts.

"Idiot" I retaliate.

"Just coz you're having problems, that's no reason to refer to my intellectual capacity in a diminutive manner" He feigns indignity as I try to blow strands of loose hair off my face.

Oliver pushes my hair behind my ear and smiles softly at me, tracing the back of his hand across my cheek.

"Did you just grab my ass?"

"Lilly, from where I am, that's a physical impossibility"

"Oh, I know your tricks, Oliver"

We descend into giggles once again. I am all worn out, I heave a sigh. Content with life, with Oliver, with everything, all I want to do now is sleep. Oliver has the same tired look on his face.

"I should go" he mumbles and gets up off my bed.

I sit up abruptly. "Why?" I demand.

"Uh, because if my mom doesn't find me in my bed tomorrow morning she will send out her entire squadron looking for me? Not to mention what your mom will do if she finds me in here!"

"So what? We're big kids now. Tell your mom you woke up early and went for a walk on the beach or something" I say like its simplest thing in the world.

"In my pyjamas?" he says doubtfully.

"You've been weirder places in your jammies, Oliver" I remind him. Once in the second grade, his mother got sick of waiting for him to get dressed after he had been playing video games all morning, so she dropped him off at school in his Buzz Lightyear pyjamas. True story.

"Hmm. What about your mom?" he challenges.

"Pssh, it's a Sunday, like anyone in my family will be up by midday." I shrug.

He bites his lip, then sighs. "I guess" he mutters, and scrambles under the covers of my bed with me as I beam at him.

Once we have sorted out a comfortable arrangement of blankets and pillows for the both of us, I snuggle up to Oliver and he wraps one arm around my shoulder as I place my head on his chest. We lay silently for a minute or two, and I begin to doze off as Oliver strokes my arm gently. I knew I wasn't going to have any more bad dreams tonight. His motions with his fingers cease, I hear him breathe steadily, deeply, and he is asleep in my arms.

I try to clear my head before I follow him into slumber. How did this even happen? My mind is still reeling. This doesn't even seem real. In this world full of corporate cynicism and commercial falsities, Oliver and I managed to find something in ourselves that is so true. Jim Morrison was right when he said "That's what real love amounts to – letting a person be what they really are. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. We're locked in an image, an act."

Maybe that's why I fell for Oliver so suddenly. We had 14 years of friendship to back us up. I knew who he was. He knew who I was. We didn't need reason.

We just love.

* * *

_Sorry for replacing this chapter, but I just wasn't happy with the ending, it didn't sit right with me. It didn't help that I wrote it at 2 in the morning the day after I got off an international flight and hadn't slept in over 24 hours. So I think it's a lot better now! Review and tell me what you think! _


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